Ok, read through before you hang me..
So a while ago, I was at a store, somewhere in Abuja.
Then I heard a little boy of about 14 or so, tap his mum and ask, “mummy, how do husbands and wives, make babies?”.
And In a heartbeat, his alarmed mother replied,
” The husband and wife, just hold hands and pray at night, and by morning, they will find a baby in their bed” :O.
It took all my self-control to stop myself from laughing out loud.
LOL. Yeah right.
But the fact is, Sex is such a ‘taboo’ topic in Nigeria. You do not think about it or talk about it or even imagine it. It is a ‘God forbid’ situation.
Even people who are married, act like flat mates when other people are around. No kissing or PDA in general.
When our parents were young. As told to us, they were too busy reading their books. So clearly, sex was never an issue.
But If it is such a taboo, how were they made?LOL
You can’t say it out Loud. It is a deep dark secret, between you, your Husband (not boyfriend) and God.
Then on the naming ceremony of your child, everybody will come and rejoice with you, as if God carried the baby and just dropped it in your lap.
The day my Aunty tried to give me the ‘don’t have sex, boys are evil’ speech. We just danced and danced around the topic.
Meanwhile, I was really young then, but there was nothing she was telling me, that I didn’t already know.
We treat it like a disease. Like it doesn’t exist. Which is why our children lie and go behind our backs and indulge in those things.
Will you not talk to your child about it, before they will be comfortable enough to talk to you about it? If you don’t mention it, neither will they.
I know things can get pretty awkward,when it comes to sex in Africa, but be rest assured that whatever you fail to tell your 13 or 14-year-old child, Google and society, are telling that child for you.
And google is like a fast car, without a manual. So it might teach your child that sex feels amaze balls, and what to put in and out of what, but it won’t stop to tell your child about pregnancy and STD’s and responsibility and so on.
That is why, most parents find out, that by the time they are ready to finally talk to their children about sex, that child can already draw and label the human penis, effortlessly.
Our generation and the previous generations are miles apart.
So Don’t leave your child for strangers and Google to educate. Educate your child.
I’m all for preserving the innocence of children, but treating a matter like it doesn’t exist, will not stop its existence.
Talk to your child. Give them the dirty details (within reason of course).
So before you crucify me, read through carefully.
Don’t give them the ‘if a boy should touch you, you’ll get pregnant’, specie of speech that my own mother gave me.
If society has educated a child about the physical side of sex, then it is your job as a parent or relative, to tell that child, the psychological and spiritual repercussions of sex.
Teach them that sex should be sacred, unlike what it has become in this day and age.
If you create a comfortable atmosphere for children to talk about such things, they won’t feel like they’ll be judged or killed if they tell you certain things.
And you save yourself future wahala.
So that, if they do run into problems of a sexual nature, they can tell you first, before resorting to quick fix measures like abortions and so on.
It’s that simple.
However, if you choose to ignore the matter, and hope your child is that ‘One in a million’, that doesn’t have hormones and sexual urges, GOODLUCK.
But be rest assured, that all you’ll do is successfully raise a crop of professional liars and pretenders.
However,another part of me, wants the ‘sex’ topic, to remain a taboo. I just feel like Nigeria, has too much western influences, as it is.
CREDIT: CHIAMAKA .O (If you do not talk to your child about SEX).